home of the phoenix (caged) wrote,
home of the phoenix
caged

awareness

.i wasn't prepared for the completeness with which i would miss you

for the strangeness of not having you near me

for how i would miss watching your hands dance across the steering wheel

as we drove to places from your past

watch them smooth you hair as my fingertips itch with the memory of that texture on my skin

for how achingly aware i would become of the emptiness in the spaces inside of me you used to fill



i wasn't prepared for how fiercely i would wish to have you in my arms at night

for how my heart would break

and then reassemble itself to wait for you to let me love you again

without reservation

or compromise

or limits

i love you with all of me

in the way that is worth every ounce of pain

even if you are never truly mine

for everything you are and will ever be

always.

.
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